I Lost My Manual on How to Survive an Apocalypse Rewrite
by Lotusxdoll
Summary: Rick Grimes awakes from his coma to find a lot more has changed than he originally thought. All he wanted was to find his family. Instead, he finds Lori's been unfaithful, Shane's gunning for him, and he's responsible for a group of survivors. And Rick begins to develop less than friendly feelings for Alice. Problem is he thinks he still loves Lori and Alice is Shane's wife
1. Chapter 1

**Summery:** Rick wakes from his coma alone and determined to find his family. When he finds Lori and Carl, he is relieved. What Rick hadn't planned on was becoming a leader to a group of survivors, his best friend trying to kill him for control and his family, or finding out Lori had been sleeping with Shane. To make matters more confusing, Rick is getting closer to Shane's wife, Alice Walsh, and is finding he wants more from her than just someone to confide in. But he loves Lori and is willing for forgive her, right? So why can't he stay away from Alice?

* * *

"Shane?!"

Rick's body suddenly jolted and his cobalt eyes shot open. He could feel sweat running down the temples of his face. It was quiet. The room was hot and musty. His eyes frantically darted around, trying to find his friend. Hadn't Shane just been standing beside him, talking?

"You in the john, Shane?" his voice was raspy and low. There was no reply.

Rick noticed a heart monitor beside his bed, but it was off. All the machines he had been hooked up to were off. He forced himself to sit up, wincing when he felt a sharp pain in his side. He pressed his fingertips to the spot that was lightly throbbing and felt gauze. Looking down, he realized it was covering a wound he vaguely remembered receiving.

He recalled being shot, but after feeling the intense pain and passing out, he could hardly remember what had happened next.

This door to his room was close and on the bedside table sat a vase of flowers. They were the same ones he could have sworn Shane just dropped off, but they were dead. A thin layer of dust covered the table. With startling realization, he began to piece together that more time had passed than he thought. Next to the vase was a pocket-sized bible he instantly recognized. Its leather cover was a faded brown; the pages dog-eared at certain sections. A chair by his bed had been knocked down and he wondered why no one had picked it up.

In frustration, he repeatedly palmed his forehead, trying to mend his fragmented memories. Where were his wife and son? Why wasn't anyone from the hospital staff checking up on him? Why would they leave him alone in a room with no power?

Rick stopped hitting his forehead and closed his eyes, trying to recall how the last day he could remember started. He figured backtracking would help him figure out what was going on. He remembered waking up with a stiff neck because Lori had banished him to the couch the night before. He also remembered her almost spilling hot coffee on him as she slammed his mug down and then accused him of not caring about her and Carl. He remembered how hurt Carl looked as he considered whether it was true or not.

Rick had left for work at that point, not wanting to argue in front of their son. He and Shane made their usual jokes, followed by some serious conversation. Less than an hour later, Rick had been shot. He almost winced as he recalled how painful it had been, how hard it was to breath, and how sure he was that he was going to die with Carl thinking he didn't care about him. Rick shook his head in frustration as he reopened his eyes. That was all he could clearly remember. There was no point to this, he just needed to find a nurse or doctor and have them fill in the blanks.

Removing the nasal cannula, he looked for any sign that someone was coming to his aid. His throat was aching and dry. He needed water first, and then he would figure everything out. He attempted to stand, using the heart monitor to lean his weight against. His legs violently shook underneath him. Before he could even take his first step, he collapsed on his injured side. A wave of pain hit him hard as he folded into a fetal position and let out a silent scream.

"Nurse!" he weakly called, hand pressed against his wound. He waited to hear the sound of footsteps approaching his room. Surly someone had heard him fall, but he was greeted with silence. "Nurse, please!" No one was coming. He pulled out the IV needle, groaning in discomfort.

Rick forced himself up, letting out labored breaths that racked his body with more pain. His footsteps were heavy as he stumbled to the bathroom. He caught his reflection in the mirror and examined his scruffy face. When his eyes drifted to the sink, his appearance and confusion took a back seat to his thirst. Turning on the faucet, he watched the brown water run clear before eagerly sipping a palm full of it. The water tasted normal, so he shoved his face into the sink and drank as much as he could. His empty stomach ached from the shock of the cold water, but his thirst urged him to keep drinking to sooth his throat.

Once he had his fill, he knew it was time to solve the mystery. His legs, still like wet noodles, carried him towards his closed door. Rick paused mid stride, glancing back at the Bible. He wasn't sure why, but he made his way over to the book and grabbed it. Taking what he thought was a calming deep breath, Rick began to make the journey towards the room's entrance. Finally reaching the door, he grasped the handle and leaned his forehead against it for a moment. He was nervous, but not scared. He had no clue what waited for him outside his room. He convinced himself that whatever was going on couldn't be too bad and he'd have all his answers soon. Taking another deep breath of musty air, he turned the door handle.

Nothing could have prepared Rick Grimes for what awaited once he stepped out that room.

* * *

She had been in her own thoughts when she heard a twig snap and footsteps behind her. She didn't want to risk looking back and losing any time she had to run. She hadn't taken a weapon with her and suddenly regretted it. Dropping her mushroom filled bucket, she began to run. Before she could get a good amount of distance between her and the threat, a thick arm caught her around the waist and a large hand covered her mouth, muffling her scream. She began to struggle, her legs and arms flailing wildly trying to make contact with her attacker.

"What did I tell you about running off alone?" A deep, familiar voice asked. The heat from his breath hit the side of her face.

Instantly, she stopped struggling. Of course a geek hadn't been behind her. They didn't have the sense to cover someone's mouth. The man let out a laugh as he let her go, making her feel even more silly. She turned around and hit him lightly with one hand and placed her other over her rapidly beating heart.

"Why would you do that?" She asked. She tried to look angry, but her lips twitched upwards.

"To teach you a lesson about running off alone."

"That was the lesson, Shane? I thought the lesson was how you can give me a heart attack."

"I got you good, didn't I?" She rolled her eyes and began to walk back to the camp, forgetting the mushrooms. Shane quickly grabbed and pulled her back against his chest. "Aw, come on now. You ain't really mad, are you? It was just in good fun, Lori."

Lori tried to control the shiver that ran through her body from the way his lips ghosted her ear. She wanted to be mad at him for scaring her and was about to tell him to let her go until he began to kiss down her neck. Lori's head rolled to the side, giving him better access, but he suddenly stopped. She turned her head to look at him, her brows furrowed in confusion. Shane didn't speak, but reached in front of her and held up a pair of rings that dangled from a silver chain around her neck. Lori gently made him release them. She took the necklace off and tucked it into the front pocket of her pant.

Shane rested his head on top of hers for a moment. Lori knew he was feeling guilty again. He always did when he saw her and Rick's wedding bands. A part of Lori wanted to put them away forever, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"I think about him every day." Shane spoke softly, still holding Lori close to him.

"I do too." Lori wondered for a moment how twisted they were. There they were in the middle of the woods with Shane intimately embracing her while they talked about missing her dead husband.

"It'll get easier. I think he's lucky not having to go through this hell."

Lori wanted to snap at Shane for saying that, but bit the inside of her cheek to keep quiet. Maybe Rick was better off dead now that the world was in chaos, but when she would look into her son's eyes, she couldn't agree with Shane.

It was still hard for her to talk about Rick. Lori couldn't clearly explain her feelings for her late husband and bringing him up reminded her how wrong things were between them before he died. Some days, she could only think of all his flaws and blame him for getting shot. Other days, she missed him terribly and would give almost anything to have him back. She loved him still and always would, but she hadn't wanted to be with him anymore while he had been alive. The day he had been shot, she planned on asking for a divorce when he came home from work. The guilt still ate at her. The whole time he had been in surgery, she couldn't help but feel selfish for her reason behind wanting to leave him. He risked his life every day for her and Carl so she could be a stay at home mother like she had wanted. And instead of being grateful, she managed to find a flaw with everything he did.

Lori had sat in the waiting room wondering if she had indirectly been the reason Rick had been shot. He looked so tired that morning and she knew for a fact the couch wasn't comfortable to sleep on. Maybe if she hadn't found another reason to kick him out of bed, he wouldn't have been shot. Rick would have been well rested and focused. He wouldn't have died. She had promised that if he made it out alive, she'd put thoughts of a divorce aside and give them an honest try. But he was dead and his last interaction with her had been another stupid argument.

Did she wear their wedding bands around her neck out of guilt or love? She couldn't be sure. But what she was sure of was that Rick wasn't better off dead just because the world had changed drastically.

"Lori, I know I can't replace Rick, but-"

"Mom?"

"Shit." Lori cursed as she pushed his arms off of her and hastily put space between them.

"Mom?"

"I'm-" she cleared her throat. "I'm here, Carl."

A boy pushed pass a row of bushes, stepping into the clearing. His feet loudly crushed twigs and dried leaves with each step. He frowned as his eyes darted between his mother and his father's best friend. "I couldn't find you."

"I'm alright, baby." Lori walked over and hugged him close. "I just needed to get some air."

"Why is Shane with you?"

"He uh…"

"I got worried about your mom too, so I came looking for her." It wasn't really a lie. Carl looked at him with those familiar blue eyes that always shot a jolt of guilt through Shane and smiled. Shane forced on a small smile in return and tried to shove away the feeling that began to make his stomach ache. It still caught Shane off guard how much Carl was starting to resemble his father.

"Why don't you go back to camp and I'll check over the work I assigned you in a few minutes. I need to talk to Shane for a moment."

"Alright mom." Carl sauntered off, relieved to find his mother safe.

"We can't keep doing this." Lori finally spoke once she was sure her son was gone. "This isn't right."

"I know that Lori. I feel just as bad as you do." Shane closed the distance between them and grasped her upper arms. "I know we shouldn't do this. Rick was my best friend and Alice is my wife, but… Shit Lori, you can't deny there's something here!"

"That's the problem. Alice is back at camp, oblivious to what's going on. I have to look her in the face and smile, knowing I'm sleeping with her husband. Rick… He hasn't even been gone that long. What's wrong with us?"

"Hey, hey, look at me." He caressed the sides of Lori's face and tilted her head up. "Nothing is wrong with us. We didn't plan this. I love Alice, you still love Rick, but we have a connection Lori. The timing is bad, I know, but there's something between us."

Lori placed her hands over his and felt her eyes water. He was wrong. There was nothing between them other than sex, the protection he provided, and someone to reminisce about Rick with when she felt like talking about him. She wanted to tell him that she didn't feel the same way, but knowing that she and Carl's survival depended on Shane always stopped her. Everything about this was wrong and she still regretted the day she let him kiss her. But it felt good to be wanted after months of no intimacy with Rick. It felt good to be someone's first priority for once in a long time. It also wrecked her mind with guilt whenever she saw Alice. Lori avoided her like the plague. She had no excuse for what she was doing other than it felt good for her ego, but that was no justification.

Alice was her friend. She was someone she vented to when she and Rick had problems. Alice wasn't close with Rick, but she would take time from her breaks at the hospital to sit with him after he had been shot, just because Lori asked her to. She didn't judge Lori for not being at Rick's side 24/7. She didn't even complain when Lori asked her to check on Rick as often as she could because it put her mind at ease. Alice had done so much for Lori during her time of need, and her payment was sleeping with Shane, and then having him confess to having feelings for her. Feelings Lori knew she did not return in the same way. But Lori couldn't let him go just yet. Not because she loved him, but because Shane provided protection and affection. She'd make things right with Alice one day. Lori had managed to convince herself that Alice would understand. It was about survival now and Lori had to make sure she and Carl made it. Alice had to understand that.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Um… Sure." Shane let go of her face and took a step back.

"Carl's waiting for me." Lori began to walk away, not once looking back. She could avoid this conversation for a while until she found a good reason to break it off.

* * *

"I am so sick of potatoes. I used to love these things. Bake potato, french fries, home fries, I loved them all. Now, I'd be too happy to never see one again." Jacqui, a thin, dark skinned woman, threw an unpeeled potato into a burlap sack. "Need help with those?"

"I got it." Alice replied, flashing a crooked smile before peeling a potato with a dulling knife.

"You're real quiet today." Jacqui sat on an overturned bucket beside Alice and nudged her with a shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Alice began to frown when she spotted Lori walking out of the woods and Shane trailing not far behind.

"Ah, I see."

"What?"

"Funny how they spend so much time together, wouldn't you say?"

"No. They're both mourning over the loss of her husband. Shane was his best friend. Why wouldn't they spend time together? Shane says they just talk about Rick."

"Alone? In the woods?"

"They just talk, Jacqui!"

Jacqui held her hands up and leaned back a little. "Whoa, I'm just saying. No need to snap at me."

"I-I'm sorry Jacqui. I'm just really tired. It's so hard to sleep in that cramped RV and this heat is getting to me." It was a half-truth. Jacqui didn't need to know she was just as aware of how suspicious Shane's alone time with Lori was and that she lost sleep over it.

"I know what you mean. I miss air conditioners and my own bed like you wouldn't believe."

"I miss eating something other than potatoes and squirrel." A new voice added.

"Take that up with the residential hunter." Jacqui joked.

"And risk getting an arrow in the ass? I'll pass. I'd rather bitch to you two."

"Oh, Glenn, we're honored." Jacqui replied with an amused smile and a hand over her heart. "But I'm sure you didn't come here to complain about the food."

"Oh, right! I need to make a run into the city to get some stuff today. Usually I fly solo, but we need a lot of crap. I was wondering if you two wanted to tag along. Since it looks like we're all stuck together for a while, it could be a, I don't know," the young Korean shrugged his shoulders. "team building exercise."

"I'm in. I need a change of scenery. I am getting so sick of looking at trees and rocks. What about you, Alice?"

"I'm not sure how I'd be useful."

"You're kidding, right?" Glenn tipped his baseball cap back to get a better look at Alice. "You know how to shoot a gun. Do you know how many people here can't?"

"Plus, I'm sure you're just as tired of only seeing trees." Jacqui added, but the tone of her voice hinted she really wasn't talking about the greenery.

Alice glanced over towards Lori and saw she was sitting at a picnic table with Carl and Shane. They looked like a little family. Her chest felt tight as she let her eyes linger on Carl. This was no world for a kid and for the first time ever, Alice had been grateful her own child wasn't around to witness the chaos.

Carl lost his father and had his world flipped upside down on the same day. He never complained, but Alice could tell he missed his father terribly and was scared.

Shane had told her there was nothing they could have done as they fled the hospital that day, but Alice couldn't shake the feeling that leaving Rick had been a mistake. She had spent so much time with him while he had been in a coma, she felt they were friends. Alice knew it was one sided, but it didn't change her feeling as if she had left a friend behind. Dead or alive, it would have been nearly impossible to get Rick out with them and logically, Alice knew that.

She often wondered if Rick had really died when the power went out in the hospital. He had been in a fragile state and the machines were keeping him alive. When Shane asked her to check Ricks pulse, Alice had been panicking. Guns were being fired in the halls and people were screaming. She didn't feel a pulse, but her hands had been shaking. She tried to tell Shane she could have been wrong, but he pressed his ear to Rick's chest and told her he was gone. It was loud, how could Shane have known? Especially if Rick's heart beat was weak. Lori had depended on Alice to look out for Rick, and she couldn't help but feel she let her friend down.

It was why she refused to question how much time Shane and Lori spent together and how they would both conveniently disappear around the same time. Alice hadn't witnessed them doing anything wrong and maybe they really were just talking about Rick. But that didn't mean she liked seeing them so comfortable together and looking like a family, especially when she knew deep in her mind that they were more than friendly.

"Yeah… Yeah, alright. I'll go. Beats peeling potatoes."

"That's the spirit!" Glenn playfully punched her shoulder, making Alice laugh lightly. "We head out in a few." he spoke over his shoulder as he walked away.

"I don't know how you do it." She heard Jacqui say.

"Do what?" Alice asked, arching a brow at Jacqui.

"See those two together and not spazz out."

"They're just-"

"Friends. Yeah, I had one of those in college. Used to keep me company on lonely nights."

"Jacqui, stop it. It's not like that between them." Alice liked to believe that if she denied it enough, eventually there really would be nothing going on between the pair.

"I know you have to know something is going on between those two, and it isn't just talking. It isn't fair to you, Alice. You should say something about all that alone time they're spending together."

Before Alice could reply, Shane came strolling over. "What's this I hear about you going into the city, Alice?"

"I wanna help out."

"I don't want you out there. You know it ain't safe."

"Glenn's never had a problem whenever he's gone. This time won't be different."

Shane frowned, his fingers looping through his belt hoops. "I'd feel better knowing you're safe where I can see you."

Jacqui looked down at her lap and rolled her eyes. "She'll be fine. We'll all be looking out for each other, and like she said, Glenn's never had a problem."

"I don't know…"

"You taught her yourself how to shoot a gun. You know she'll be fine."

"She's right Shane. I wanna do more for the group than peel potatoes and wash clothes."

Shane ran his hand down his face and let out a hard sigh. "Fine. But don't play hero. You stay with the group at all times."

"Alright." He reached out a hand and helped Alice up. Pulling her into a tight hug, he kissed the top of her head and whispered for her to be safe. Alice closed her eyes and for a moment, allowing herself to pretend they were fine.

Shane was genuinely worried about Alice going into the city. And as he watched her check the gun he gave her for ammo and pack a few supplies, he felt guilt creep into his chest. He knew he had feelings for Lori. She had started off as a link between him and Rick. Someone to reminisce with. Shane honestly had no intentions to take it further than that, especially with his own wife close by. However, slowly he began to look forward to his time with Lori. He enjoyed the light touches she gave him and the way she looked at him with her big brown eyes. It reminded him of how things used to be with Alice before everything went wrong between them. He craved the feeling Lori gave him and how needed she made him feel.

But Lori had been Rick's wife. Shane had been there when Rick picked out Lori's engagement ring and even served as best man at their wedding. He had witnessed his best friend, his brother, go through ups and downs with Lori. He knew how much Rick loved her, and yet that did not stop Shane from wanting her. He had also begun to love Carl like a son. He hadn't tried to replace Rick, but Shane had to admit that it felt good to play the father role after the chance had been abruptly taken from him.

Then there was Alice. Shane would have thought being thrown into an apocalypse would be the thing that brought them together again, but it just pushed them further apart. He knew he loved her still and despite how hard the last year had been on their marriage, he always would. They had been separated, but living in the same house before the world had been completely flipped on its ass. Back then, Shane was sure it was just a rough patch and they'd fix things between them.

But then he fell for Lori. Now, he wasn't sure what he wanted. Sometimes, he'd look at Alice and all he could see was their troubled marriage. Then he'd look at Lori and saw a real future together. Other times, he'd get glimpses of the old Alice and considered putting an end to him and Lori. But then she'd go back to being a stranger to him and he suddenly longed for what Lori could give him. Shane didn't know what to do and the women were no help. Lori refused to talk about what was between them and Alice was emotionally distant.

But he still loved his wife and hated that he was sending her into danger.

"Well looky here! Sweet tits is gonna be joining us!" Howling laughter followed the crude remark, sending unpleasant shivers down Alice's spine. She tried to ignore it.

"Oh lord." Jacqui mumbled, walking towards the truck they would be using for the run.

"You're coming with us?" Andrea, a tall blonde wearing a disgusted sneer, asked.

"You bet your fine ass I am! Darylina ran off to hunt this morning, leaving me all alone. I wanted to shoot the shit here, but I wanna shoot shit even more." The man replied, grinning and thinking he sounded clever.

Andrea rolled her eyes. She, like everyone at the camp, knew better than to engage Merle Dixon in conversation longer than needed. He was far from politically correct and was the owner of a hair trigger temper. Andrea's biggest issue with the larger, rude man was his sexist views on things. If anyone listened to him tell it, women were only good for cooking, cleaning, and fucking. His brother, Daryl, was the lesser of two evils though. He was the silent, brooding type. Andrea and her sister, Amy, wondered if the younger Dixon could do anything other than scowl and snap at people.

"Just try not to be too much of an asshole." She said as she walked past him.

Alice tried to sneak onto the truck without drawing Merles attention, but that had proven to be a waste. "Hey sweet tits, wanna sit on Ol' Merle's lap on the way there? I don't mind none, but you might feel something poking that pretty little backside."

"Come on man, be respectful!" A muscular African American poked his head out from the passenger side of the truck. He insisted that everyone call him T-dog and Alice was sure he and Jacqui had something going on.

"Respectful?" Merle repeated as if he sucked on a lemon. He watched Jacqui help Alice into the truck and leered openly at her ass. "Respect what? Women are only good for one thing, and ain't nothing respectful about it. And don't you be ordering me around. I don't take too kindly to people like you telling me what to do."

"People like me?" T-dog repeated, opening his door.

"You know what I mean. Want me to spell it out? You know I'd be glad to."

"Why don't you-"

"Okay boys, break it up. We have to go." Another man spoke, stopping the potential fight.

"Oh, come on! You're going too? How'd you cross the border anyway?"

The other man bit the inside of his cheek, but stayed silent. Even he was afraid of what Merle Dixon was capable of.

"Yes, Morales is coming Merle." Andrea answered, glaring at the older Dixon. "Now let's go please."

"I like my women feisty, bet she's a real hell cat in the sack." Merle watched Andrea's ass as she walked to the truck, licking his lips while grinning.

* * *

If the ride to the small department store had been an indicator of the journey back to camp, Alice was more than sure no one but Merle would be looking forward to it. Merle was barely tolerable in small doses, spending a half hour in a confined space with him felt like an eternity in a special hell. During the drive, Alice had seriously contemplated tossing herself out of the moving truck. Breaking every bone in her body would have been worth it. As Merle made his rude, insensitive jokes, Alice remained silent. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Andrea lightly banging the back of her head against the truck wall. Morales just kept shifting uncomfortably in his seat every time Merle made a 'beaner' joke, and Jacqui rolled her eyes. A lot. Alice knew everyone in the back would fight T-dog for the front seat on the drive back to camp.

As Alice scouted the store with Andrea, she wondered about the Dixon brothers. They were so different, yet both men were intimidating. Daryl hardly spoke unless he had to, and unlike his brother, Alice was sure he didn't indulge in a meth and coke habit. It was the worst kept secret at the camp that Merle was floating on a constant high and Alice had to question if he was really even aware of the fact that society went to hell. She wished she was blissfully oblivious. Life seemed easier that way.

"It's clear on my side." Andrea spoke, snapping Alice from her silent musing.

"Same here." She softly replied, watching the taller woman tuck her gun into the waistband of her jeans. Andrea whistled to let the others know it was safe.

"I always imagined I'd be over the moon if I ever got the chance to shop and not pay a thing. Doesn't feel as fulfilling anymore. Kind of feels like we're stealing."

"From whom, Andrea?" Jacqui questioned as she strolled over, a blue duffle bag dangling from her hand. "For some reason, I don't think the geeks lurking out there will need any of this stuff."

"I know that." Andrea replied, rolling her eyes slightly. "I just… It feels weird, you know?"

"No." Jacqui answered as she began to shove packages of socks into her bag. "It doesn't feel weird at all. It feels like we need this stuff."

"You seriously want to get a conscience about this now?" Glenn chimed in as he power walked past them. "We need to grab," he held up a shirt before shoving it into a bag. "and go."

"Kid's got a point." Jacqui ventured off, shooting a smile at Alice first.

"Ok, I get it, I get it." Andrea mumbled.

Alice let out a small chuckle as she began filling her own bag, not giving much thought to style. As she tossed a plaid shirt into her pile, she imagined her sister standing next to her and shaking her head in disapproval. Jessica was always the fashion conscious one. Alice shook her head, refusing to think about her sister. She wasn't sure if Jessica was alive, but after seeing the condition of her parent's home before they left for Atlanta, she knew the chances were slim.

Images of bloody handprints smeared on the walls and furniture overturned suddenly appeared in her mind like scenes from a horror film. Only it had been real. She knew her parents were dead, she had seen them with her own eyes, but Jessica was a different story. Blood made a trail upstairs and Alice didn't have the courage to see if it was her sister either dead or a geek. She nearly flew out of the house, trying to forget the carnage she had seen. Shane never asked about it and she never brought it up. Alice rubbed her eyes so hard, she saw stars. It wasn't the time to think about her family being dead. There was never a time to think about it if she wanted to stay somewhat sane.

She began to move to another part of the store when a small jewelry showcase stopped her. Alice had never cared much for jewelry, and other than her wedding band, she hardly wore any. However, a silver chain bracelet with a dangling cross charm caught her attention.

She looked around to make sure no one had been paying attention to her before pulling a small pocket knife out from her pant pocket. She wedged the blade between the glass and lock and pried at it. Alice grinned when it popped open, the door nearly nailing her in the face. She reached inside and grabbed the bracelet. Morally, she knew it was wrong, but who would she get in trouble with for taking it?

"I don't think that counts as supplies." A playful voice spoke from behind Alice, making her swing around. "Cool it now, it's just me." Jacqui held her hands up, but was smiling.

"You scared me!"

"So I noticed." She gently grabbed the bracelet and examined it. "Not bad. I would have gone for more bling, but I suppose every thief has to start somewhere."

"Thief?" Alice repeated, frowning as Jacqui motioned for her to hold her wrist out. "I don't see Johnny Law around, so I don't think it counts."

"It does when your husband is Johnny law." She replied as she clasped the bracelet on Alice's wrist.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Shane isn't an officer anymore. No one's anything but survivors now. And thanks for putting this on for me."

"No problem and try telling Shane that."

"You can't tell Shane anything." She mumbled, but Jacqui heard her clearly. Before the other woman could reply, Glenn informed them it was time to go.

"We got a problem." T-dog pointed to the double glass doors. Geeks were starting to gather.

"You have got to be shitting me." Glenn looked up at the ceiling in frustration.

"We need to go." Morales stated, popping out from behind a rack. "Like, now."

"I know, I know. I think we can take out the few that's gathered and just make a run for it."

"I think we'll need a new plan, man." T-dog nodded towards the door again and everyone grew silent. Too many geeks had gathered for them to get out that way.

"Look, there's a storage room in the back. Let's just go there and-"

"And what? Stay there until they break the door and get us?" Andrea looked like she was on the brink of a break down.

Glenn rolled his eyes, frustrated with himself for not taking the trip alone. It was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. "No. There's an exit there. I'll go and check out how bad it is and we'll take it from there."

"Where's Merle?" Alice asked, suddenly aware that there had been no hyena like laughter since they entered the department store. Everyone looked at each other, waiting to see if anyone knew.

"Shit, that can't be good. Someone needs to go find him."

"One problem at a time, Andrea. Finding a way out before it gets too dangerous is the priority. The racist, sexist asshole comes second." Jacqui looked around to see if anyone disagreed. No one did.

"Me and Morales will back you up." T-dog handed Glenn a walkie talkie.

Glenn took it and gave it an unsure look before letting out a sigh. He ran his free hand down his face. "Let's just get this over with. The sooner we leave the better."

"He's been gone a while. That's a bad thing, isn't it? This is bad." Andrea paced back and forth, running a hand through her hair. "He should have been back by now."

"Relax Andrea."

"Relax? Alice, do you realize how fucked we are if we can't get out of here?" she hissed.

"I do, but stressing out won't really change much." She replied with an uncomfortable shrug. Andrea glared at her, making Alice's look down at her feet. She wasn't one for confrontation.

"And what? Standing there staring at our feet will?" Alice opened her mouth to reply, but quickly closed it.

"Lay off her, Andrea. We're all stressed." Jacqui spoke, coming to Alice's rescue. Morales and T-dog stood awkwardly by the back door in their padded suits. Their job was to take down anything that followed Glenn back inside when he returned and the suits would prevent blood and bites from touching them.

"Apparently Alice isn't. According to her, stressing out won't solve anything. Right, Alice?"

"I didn't say I wasn't stressed out or worried. I just said it wouldn't change much."

"Whatever."

"Do you think Glenn's okay?" Jacqui hesitantly asked. No one answered, not sure what was going on.

"Man, have we got a serious problem." Glenn's voice suddenly filled the room. There was a collective sigh of relief. "Some moron riding on a horse managed to get just about every geek in Atlanta's attention. There's gotta be like… Over a hundred of them. That guy is so fucked."

"Are you exaggerating?" T-dog asked, holding the walkie talkie a few inches from his face.

"I don't know. Maybe, but it's a lot. Like way more than we can take down. I shit you not, it's like a swarm of them. The idiot didn't help by firing his gun."

"What should we do?"

"Uh… Honestly? I have no clue." Andrea palmed her forehead hard at Glenn's reply. They were fucked.

"And the man?"

"Stuck in a tank that's surrounded. I feel bad for the guy."

"He's the one that lead all the geeks to us! He's the reason we're in this mess and Glenn feels bad for him!" Andrea snapped.

"Chill out." T-dog attempted to calm the storm Andrea was about to bring. "Can you make it back here?"

"Yeah, but um… I'm gonna help that guy. I see an opening for him to get out."

T-dog let his head softly hit the wall behind him. "Alright man. Just don't die."

* * *

The air sizzled with tension and worry. No one wanted to say it, but the only reason they were anxious to get Glenn back alive was a selfish one. No one knew the back alleys of Atlanta like the former delivery boy. Though they had spent nearly every waking moment together for a month, it was hardly enough time to claim to really know each other. What they all had at the camp a casual friendship that came with the perks of looking out for one another, as long as self-sacrifices wasn't an option.

It made Alice feel guilty because Glenn had been willing to do what none of them wanted to. Even though he felt he had a better chance of retuning if he went alone, she felt someone, herself included, should have at least volunteered to tag along. Her stomach began to ache at the thought of him getting hurt and being alone. Just to imagine being alone, armed only with a walkie talkie, and surrounded by countless geeks terrified her. Lacing her fingers together and resting them under her chin, she began to pray. She silently promised that if Glenn came back without a scratch, she'd never let anyone volunteer to do anything dangerous alone.

A few gun shots went off and everyone instantly knew things were about to get worse. Whoever was out there with Glenn didn't seem to care about the mess they were making.

The walkie talkie suddenly began to buzz back to life. "I'm in the ally by the door. Four walkers are blocking the path."

No one said anything as T-dog and Morales placed helmets on their heads with face guards. The two men looked at each other and nodded before opening the door and running out, armed only with wooden baseball bats.

Glenn ran inside, but he wasn't alone. "Ah shit," he kneeled over, hands resting on his knees. "that was a workout."

Alice barely paid attention to the new comer as she ran over to Glenn and hugged him. He looked surprised. His hands dangled uselessly at his sides as he let the older woman, who was pretty hot in his opinion, squeeze him to her and ask if he was alright.

"We should have never let you go alone." She mumbled.

"It's cool Alice, I got back in one piece and-"

"Son of a bitch! I ought to kill you!"

Alice and Glenn jerked away from one another at the sound of Andrea's outburst and boxes being knocked down. Alice caught sight of a familiar tan shirt and let her eyes travel to the owners face. "Oh, God…"

"Chill out Andrea, back off." Morales ordered, sweating as he removed his protective padding.

"Back off?" she hissed, shoving her gun into the new comers face. "Because of this asshole we're dead!"

"Either pull the trigger or put the gun down."

Andrea let out a low growl, shoving the man one last time before easing off. "We're dead. We're dead because of you."

"I don't understand." The man spoke for the first time, breathing hard. His blue eyes darted around the room before landing on a familiar face. "Alice?"

The room went silent and all eyes were focused on the Alice, waiting for a reaction. Jacqui fingered the knife that was tucked in the waist band of her jeans, just in case the stranger was a threat to her friend. Alice stared at him, her lips parted slightly. He was alive. Rick was really alive. But that meant she screwed up. Badly. Nervously, she began to speak.

"Hey. I'm glad you're alright." She lamely replied.

In large steps, Rick was in front of her. For a moment, she thought he was about to lay the smack down on her for leaving him in the hospital for dead. And she would deserve it. Instead, he pulled her into a hug.

Rick's heart was beating wildly against his ribcage at the sight of a familiar face in a confusing world. Seeing Alice alive strengthened his belief that Lori and Carl were also alive. Rick felt her arms tentatively wrap around him, returning the much needed hug. He could almost cry at how good it felt to see someone he knew when the odds were so stacked against him.

"You are a sight for sore eyes." He let her go and smiled down at the shorter woman.

"As touching as this is, we have a serious fucking problem on our hands thanks to you. I'm sorry if I'm not feeling all warm and fuzzy, but we need to figure this shit out." Andrea hissed.

"I'm still not sure how I caused this."

"Look," Morales grabbed him, pushed him out of the storage room and began to lead everyone back to the front of the store. "we were here to scavenger for supplies. And the point of doing that is to survive, not draw attention by shooting in the middle of the street like Okay Corral!"

There were geeks pounding on the cracking glass door. Andrea glared at Rick and fingered the trigger of her gun, ready to shoot him as a sacrifice if things got out of hand. It was his fault after all.

"What the hell were you doing out there anyway?" Andrea asked.

"I was trying to flag down a helicopter."

"Helicopter?" Alice repeated. "There aren't any of those out there."

"You were seeing things, it happens-"

"No!" he snapped, cutting Jacqui off. "I know what I saw!"

Morales shook his head, but refused to acknowledge the delusions of a man he didn't even know. "Hey, T-dog, check that CB again. See if you can contact the others."

"Others? The refugee center?"

"Yeah, the refugee center. They got biscuits waiting in the oven for us." Jacqui sassed.

"I got no signal. Maybe we should try the roof."

Before anyone could move, another gun shot rang out. Glenn let out a groan and pulled his cap over his eyes. "The one damn time I bring people along, everything that could go wrong fucking goes wrong."

"Oh, God, was that Dixon?"

* * *

**A/N:** I hope those who read the original won't be disappointed by the rewrite and I thank you for giving it a chance. I'd like to think this version is better organized and written. Now, obviously, this is a Rick story so it's predictable in the sense of you know eventually my OC and Rick will be getting it on... Wait, you came for the romance, right? Well there's that too before they get it on... But they will be getting it on.

This isn't an insta-love story. If that's what you were expecting and wanting, you won't like this. In my opinion, it goes at a realistic pace if you take into consideration that it is a love story between two married people who can't just drop their spouses for one another and walkers are trying to eat them... And sometimes other people too. This is the Walking Dead world and to expect an easy, drama free romance is just going to equal... not a good time.

Reviews, comments, and favors are always appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I wasn't going to bitch, but I'm going to do it anyway. I see people are reading, following, and favoring this story, yet aside from two people, there's zero feedback. I'm not going to threaten to not update until I get reviews, but it is frustrating. I didn't write this story for myself. If I did, I wouldn't bother to post it and it does take some confidence to post your writing for the world to see and judge. No feedback equals me wondering if there's a point in me finishing this. Now, that wasn't a threat, but when you sit at your laptop working on a new chapter, your enthusiasm to get it done is dampened when you wonder if anyone is really reading.

Reviews (including critics) is what keeps most writers on here excited about what they do.

* * *

"Woo! Got me another one!" Merle cheered himself on as he watched the geek he shot drop dead…. Well, dead again. Perched on the ledge of the building, he grinned down at the growing swarm of geeks. "This is more fun than sitting at camp just scratching my balls." Just as he lined up his aim to take another one of those geeks down, the roof door swung open, hitting the cement wall behind it. Merle rolled his eyes, already knowing he was about to get bitched at. Pulling the trigger of the shot gun, he let out a hyena laugh as the walkers head exploded from the impact of the bullet. His beloved baby brother, Darylina, would probably get a kick out of it too if he hadn't decided to run off and play Daniel Boone in the woods. They'd probably even make a bet over who could kill more geeks.

"What the fuck, Dixon!" Morales yelled. He cautiously walked over just as Merle stepped off the ledge and onto the rooftop.

"You ought of be more polite to a man with a gun." He mocked as he swung the rifle haphazardly. "Only common sense."

"Man, you wasting bullets we ain't even got!" T-dog yelled, jumping over a large pipe and storming over to Merle.

"Stick close to me Alice. This doesn't look good." Rick warned. Alice nodded, but didn't stop watching the train wreck that was about to happen.

"Hey, it's bad enough I got this taco bender on my ass all day, now I gotta take orders from you? I don't think so. That'll be the day."

"That'll be the day?" T-dog repeated. "You got somethin' you wanna tell me?" he asked, placing a hand on his chest.

"T-dog, just leave it."

"No." T-dog waved Morales off.

"It's not worth it, T. Now, Merle, just relax."

Rick went to take a step forward, the officer in him ready to defuse the situation, but he stopped when he felt a small hand firmly grasp his forearm. He looked down at Alice, watching her shake her head and Glenn beside her mouthing for him to stay out of it.

"You wanna know the day?"

"Yeah."

"I'll tell you the day, Mr. Yo. The day I take orders from a nigger."

"Mother-" T-dog threw a punch, but Merle dodged it with surprising speed and smacked T with the butt of the gun. He threw the gun down and punched T, knocking him onto his back. Rick leaped forward, but Merle caught him with a right hook to the face. He fell over a pipe and tried to catch himself, but ended up putting most of his weight onto his right hand. Feeling pain shoot thought his hand, Rick took a sharp intake of air.

"Stop!" Alice yelled as Rick fell and Merle continued to beat T-dog. Everyone was yelling now, trying to stop Merle, but they kept a safe distance not wanting to get hit by the raging man.

Rick pulled himself onto his knees slowly, trying to blink away the stars he was seeing. He felt a pair of hands help him stand. He staggered for a moment, but caught himself before he could fall and take Glenn down with him. "Damn." He mumbled.

"You ok?" Glenn asked. His eyes were glued to the disaster still going on as he let go of Rick.

"I will be." He replied as he spotted Merle's shot gun.

Merle was getting a rush that was almost as good as a coke high. Almost. Straddling T-dog, Merle pulled out a handgun and aimed it at the man's face. He got a kick out of watching T-dog's eyes widen at the sound of the safety being removed. He could hear the bitches in the background crying and begging him not to shoot.

Bitches were always crying.

He looked around at all the shocked and scared faces, not noticing the new comer missing from the group. Merle pulled his gun a few feet from T-dogs face, but spit on his shirt and smacked his chest before standing up.

"Now what do we say we have us a little pow-wow? Talk about who's in charge." He watched the two broads and the taco vender pull a bleeding T-dog to safety. "I vote me. Anybody else? Democracy time, y'all." Merle raised his free hand. "Show of hands. All in favor?!" One by one, hands went up. Jacqui gave him the finger, but he would ignore that. For now. Alice slowly raised a hand while checking T's bleeding face with the other. "Yeah, that's good. That means I'm the boss."

Rick watched Merle silently, waiting for his opportunity. Slowly, he moved towards the forgotten shotgun.

"Anybody else?" Rick grabbed the gun. "Anybody?"

"Yeah." Rick spoke, making Merle turn around. Without hesitation, he swung the butt of the gun down hard on Merle's head, knocking him down. From that point, Rick's body moved on auto pilot, familiar with dealing with people like Merle. He quickly slapped the cuffs he still carried on one of Merle's wrist and the other side to a pipe. Grabbing the larger man's shirt, Rick hauled him up into a sitting position.

"Who the hell are you man?!"

"I'm officer friendly." He hissed as he began to reload his gun. "Look Merle, there are no more niggers. No dumb as shit, inbred white trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. Us and the dead. We survive this together, not apart."

"Screw you man."

Rick let out a sigh of frustration. "I can see you make it a habit of missing the point."

"Yeah? Well screw you twice."

"You wanna be polite to the man with a gun." Rick mocked, as he pushed his handgun against Merles temple. "it's only common sense."

"Yeah, right. You're a cop."

Rick pulled the gun away, but didn't back out of Merle's personal space. "All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anyone gets in the way of that is gonna lose." Glaring at the older Dixon, he snarled. "I'll give you a moment to think about that." Searching Merle's pocket, he found a small vial of cocaine. Pushing Merles face up, he spotted white residue inside his nostrils. "Got some on your nose there." He flicked his nose before standing and throwing the vial off the roof.

"What are you gonna do? Arrest me? Hey!" Merle yelled when he realized what had happened. "What are you doing man?! That's my stuff!" he began struggling against the pipe as Rick walked off to the other side of the roof. "If I get loose, you better pray! You hear me you pig!?"

"Yeah, your voice carries."

Everyone stood silently, watching Merle struggle and scream profanities. Alice noticed Rick rubbing his right hand and walked over. She gently grabbed the trembling hand before he could pull it away and began feeling for broken bones.

"That was pretty stupid and brave what you did back there." She spoke, not taking her eyes off his hand. It was the same hand she had held a few times while he had been in a coma.

"It would have only escalated if I hadn't." he watched her probe at his hand, her touch familiar to him for some reason. "What's the diagnosis, Nurse Walsh?"

"Nurse Walsh, huh?" she chucked softly, letting his hand go. "I don't think that title matters right now. But your hand is fine, just a little swollen. It should be fine by tomorrow if you don't go falling on it again for the rest of the day." She joked. "How's your other wound? The one on your side I mean."

"It's sore." He replied, suddenly aware of the dull ache on his side.

"Has it healed up?"

"I guess. There weren't any doctors around when I came to."

Her throat felt like it was beginning to tighten up. He had been alive and alone in the hospital while they thought he was dead. "Um, do you want me to check it when we get back to the camp… If we get back to the camp."

"I'll be fine, but Alice, we'll get out of here. " He paused as if suddenly remembering something. "Do you know where Lori-"

"Hey man, it's getting bad down there. We have to figure out what to do." Morales called, interrupting him. Rick's lips pressed together tightly for a moment, but he knew the other man was right. "How's that signal, T?"

"It's like Dixon's brain. Weak." Rick walked over to the group, Alice trailing close behind.

"Fuck you." Merle hissed.

"What does it matter? They can't do a thing." Andrea glared at Rick once more before walking away.

"There's no refugee center." Morales informed Rick, looking over the ledge at the geeks. "It was just a pipe dream. We have a group camped out."

"Means we gotta find a way out on our own." Rick looked around to see if anyone had ideas.

"Good luck with that. These streets ain't safe in this part of town from what I hear." Merle began to grin and focused his eyes on Alice. "Hey sweet ass, since we ain't going nowhere anytime soon, why don't you come over here to ol' Merle and keep me some company? Hey, if you let me out these handcuffs, we can ditch these assholes and go re-populate the world with blond hair, blue eyed babies."

Alice's nose scrunched up at the suggestion. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Rick moving closer to her. "No, thank you."

"What about you, hellcat?" he asked Andrea.

"Fuck off, Merle."

Merle frowned and slumped back against the pipe. "Yeah, I figured that'd be the answer."

"Streets ain't safe." Morales repeated. "Now there's an understatement."

"What about under the streets? The sewers?"

Morales face lite up. "Glenn! Check the alley. Do you see any manhole covers?"

Glenn ran over and looked down, but faced the men, frowning. "Nothing. Must be on the streets where all the geeks are."

"Maybe not." Jacqui chimed. "An old building like this, built in the 20's. Old buildings like this often had drainage tunnels built into the sewers in case of flooding down in the subbasements."

"How in the world do you know that?" Alice asked.

"It's my job. Was… I worked in the city's zoning office."

Everyone felt a spark of hope. Maybe they would make it out alive.

* * *

The ride back to camp had been mostly silent. Morales sat in the passenger seat of their newly acquired truck. He kept reassuring Rick that no one could have helped Merle and giving him driving directions. T-dog sat silently against the back of Rick's seat, letting Alice clean him up the best she could with a pink bandana Jacqui had given her. Every once in a while, he would bang is head against the seat and mutter about how he had fucked up. The only one that seemed to be in a good mood was Glenn. He sped past them whooping and fist pumping in a bright red Dodge Challenger, its alarm blaring. But Glenn had no fucks to give about the obnoxious alarm. For the first time in his life, he had the chance to drive a car meant for speed and he was not about to waste the moment on feeling bad about Merle Dixon.

As they pulled up to camp, parking behind a van, Morales laid a hand on Rick's shoulder. Giving it a squeeze, he reiterated that he made the right decision and the only one who would be pissed was Daryl. Wasting no time to see their families and friends, everyone except Alice and Rick jumped out of the truck. Spotting her getting ready to leave, he motioned for her to sit next to him.

"Morales is right." She spoke as she took the passenger seat. "Daryl is pretty hot headed too, but he's not as bad as Merle."

"That makes me feel better." He sarcastically spoke, running a hand down his tired face. "We left a man handcuffed to a roof."

"It's not really yours or T-dogs fault. Merle was out of hand and something had to be done. You did really good out there. We wouldn't have made it back to camp if it wasn't for you."

"Doesn't feel like I did much at all." He confessed. Rick was slightly thrown off by how easy it was to talk to her for the first time in the several years he had known her. They usually never went beyond polite conversation and everything he knew about Alice had been second hand information from Shane and Lori.

"You did a lot more than any of us. It was your idea to use Wayne Dunlap's… insides to rub all over you and Glenn." It felt odd referring to a geek by its name, but Rick had been right. Wayne used to be someone that had real worries and a life before turning. All the geeks did, but it was easy to forget that when they were trying to make a meal out of the living. "And none of us would have thought to go to a construction site for the truck or hotwiring a car to get the alarm going. You saved us." She placed her small hand on his bicep, giving it a soft squeeze, and smiled at him.

Rick noticed something dangling from her wrist and gently grabbed it. He chuckled as he flicked the charm. "I didn't think you were one to loot, Nurse Walsh."

Pulling her wrist from his grasp, she laughed. "It's not looting. It doesn't have value anymore, so who's gonna miss it?"

"Point taken."

"How'd you know I got it from the department store? Maybe I've always had it."

Rick shook his head, smiling. "I can't say we're best of friends, but I never seen you wear jewelry other than your wedding ring. It's too new looking for you to have had it for a while."

"With observation skills like that, I see why you became a deputy."

His eyebrows shot up for a moment and he reached into the back pocket of his pants. "I got something of yours."

"Mine?" her brows creased.

"Yeah." He pulled a small book out and handed it to her.

"It was in your room all along, wasn't it?" she asked, flipping through the pages of her small, well used bible. "When I was packing, I thought I had lost it." She closed the bible and rested it on her lap. "I… I have to apologize to you Rick."

"For what?" he cautiously asked.

"The military showed up at the hospital when things got bad and started shooting everyone. People were screaming and begging to be spared. It was just so loud and chaotic. I had already been in your room, checking on you when Shane showed up. He scared me so bad, I fell over a chair." Rick nodded his head, starting to better piece together what happened before he woke up, but he couldn't figure out what she was apologizing for. "Then the power went out. The generator didn't kick in so the machines went off and they were keeping you alive. I checked for your pulse, but I was scared. My hands were shaking so bad. I didn't feel a pulse, so Shane tried to listen for your heart beat." She rubbed her forehead, avoiding eye contact. "He didn't hear anything. I tried to tell Shane that I could have been wrong because I was panicking, but we had to go and thought you were dead. We didn't want to leave you!"

For a moment, Rick felt a flash of anger as he finally understood what she was telling him, but he quickly shoved it down. "You…" Alice began mentally preparing to be bitch slapped into the dashboard. "It's fine."

"Huh?"

"It's fine, Alice. You didn't know. When I woke up, it looked like a warzone. I can only imagine the chaos when you were there. I would have just been dead weight slowing you two down."

"But it's my job not to screw things up like that. I messed up. You were alive and we left you." She covered her face with both hands for a moment, remembering the horrors she had seen that day. Coworkers had been shot execution style in front of her. People she saw almost daily were screaming, begging, and bargaining for their lives just to get a bullet in the head. "You were alive, but you could be dead now and it would have been because-"

"Stop it, Alice. Stop beating yourself up."

"Sure…"

"You said Shane was with you that day. Is he here?"

"Hey, helicopter man, get out here!" Morales called.

Alice ignored his question and motioned for him to get out. "Go out there and meet everyone. You might find something you been looking for."

Hesitantly, Rick got out, not sure what she meant. As he walked down the dirt and gravel path, he felt nervous meeting the campers. Taking a deep breath he looked up at everyone, but his breath got caught in his chest. His eyes connected with a pair that was identical to his.

"Dad? Dad!"

Before Rick could take another step, the small body flew into him, latching onto his midsection. So many emotions went through him as he held his crying son. He buried his face in Carl's hair, crying without shame into it as his legs gave out and they both collapsed on the ground. He looked up again and saw his wife rushing over, her arms outstretched for him. Rick stood up, still holding his son, and pulled Lori as close as he could to him.

"I found you." He kissed her temple. "I found you."

Shane stood to the side, his eyes wide. Saying he was shocked would have been an understatement. It was just like seeing a ghost. He was happy to see Rick alive, but the part of him that had fallen for Lori wasn't. As big as Georgia was, the chances of Rick stumbling into their camp were slim, yet he had managed to do it. Shane knew Lori was going to see him as the bad guy now because Rick found them after Shane told her he was dead. His stomach turned at the thought of wishing Rick hadn't found his family. No, Shane was glad to see Rick and even more so when he saw how Carl latched onto his father while introductions were being made.

He and Lori's future had been decided with Rick's return. Shane didn't want to accept it, but he didn't have a choice. Rick was alive and that was all that should matter. Shane would find Lori later and explain that he and Alice fucked up at the hospital. Then he'd force himself to let her go. The plan made sense, but Shane's heart ached at the thought of no longer having Lori.

Shane spotted Alice talking to Glenn by the Dodge Challenger. He could let Lori go. He had Alice, and maybe it was time to fix them. He began to walk over to the pair.

"You should have been there, Alice! All the geeks were chasing the car and it looked like they were going to trap me, but this baby," Glenn looked at the car as if it were a lover. "got me out. One of the best things about the world going to hell is there are no speed limits. You gotta come with me for a ride!"

Alice leaned against the car only to be gently nudged off of it by Glenn. "Sorry!" she apologized, laughing. "Maybe going for a ride in this thing will show me what the big deal is."

"Such a woman's response."

"You'll have to forgive Alice. Cars have never been her thing."

"Oh, hey Shane. I'm gonna help unload the truck. Catch you later Alice."

"From what I been hearing, things got pretty bad out there." Shane said once they were alone.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, for a minute there it wasn't looking good."

Guilt hit him, making him feel even worse. He had gotten T-dog's CB call for help, but made the decision to keep everyone at camp. Lori and Amy hadn't been too happy with him about it, but realistically they couldn't have been any help. He didn't want Alice to get hurt, but he couldn't ignore the part of him that blamed her for getting into that mess in the first place. If she had stayed at the camp like he had wanted, she wouldn't have almost died. But it wasn't the time or place to say any of that. He was already in trouble with Lori.

"How'd you make it out anyway?"

"Rick." She answered, smiling and nodding in the man's direction. Rick had Lori and Carl under each arm. "He got us out by thinking fast."

Shane didn't miss the admiration in her voice. "Sounds like Rick. You alright though?"

"I'm fine." An awkward silence passed between them. "I'm gotta go to the RV real quick, then help unpack."

He watched her walk away for a moment before looking back at Rick and Lori. Lori was smiling, and caressing his chest lovingly. Shane felt a stab of pain in his heart. Something in him knew things would never go back to how they used to be with either woman.

* * *

"Disorientated, fear, confusion. All those things I felt when I woke up, but disorientation comes closest." Rick spoke softly, still hugging his family close as if they would disappear if he didn't. A few of the campers had gathered around a fire after the sun had set.

"Words can be meager things. Sometimes, they fall short." Dale spoke, smiling kindly at the new member.

Dale Horvath was a 64 year old man that always had wise words and a sweet nature. He saw almost everything that went on at camp from the top of his beloved RV. Dale was friendly with everyone, but he had a soft spot for Amy and Andrea. After his wife, Irma, had miscarried, he didn't allow himself to think about having children anymore. It had been too painful for them after getting their hopes up, but after Irma had passed, he would often find himself wondering 'what if'. It had been just them for so long, then suddenly it was just him.

Seeing Rick with his family warmed the old man's heart. The chances of finding them were slim, but he had done it and wasn't letting them go. Dale would have been the same way if he had the chance to see Irma again. She was gone though, but as his eyes landed on Andrea and Amy, he saw a second chance to look after someone other than himself. If he had children, he imagined they would be like the two sisters. He allowed himself to care for them.

"I felt like I had been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was wrapped in some coma dream. Something I might not wake up from, ever."

"Mom said you died." Carl softly spoke, looking up at his father with glistening eyes.

Rick looked down at his son, his pride and joy. "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it."

"When things got really bad at the hospital, they were gonna medevac you and the other patients, but it never happened." Lori buried her face into her husband's shirt as she spoke.

"I'm not surprised after seeing how Atlanta fell. And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun."

"Looks don't deceive." Shane said. "I barely got them out." He looked at Lori and Carl, trying to snuff out the guilt the bubbled in his chest.

Rick looked over to Shane, gratitude flooding his features. It just made Shane feel worse. "I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it."

"There goes those words falling short again." Dale looked around the fire, smiling, but he caught Lori and Shane looking guilty. Rick's arrival had confirmed what Dale had been thinking about the two. Shane had been sleeping with Lori.

"It was nothing." Shane replied, smiling the best he could and avoiding Lori's heated glare. "You'd do it for me." And Shane knew he would have; only Rick wouldn't have slept with Alice. His wife sat beside him, but there felt like an invisible barrier keeping him and Alice apart.

"I am still grateful. I wish I could say more than that, but…"

"It's fine brother." A moment of silence passed before a fire pit a few feet from theirs flared up. Shane looked over when the sound of crackling wood reached his ears. "Hey, Ed?" he called.

Ed flopped down in a lawn chair and looked at Shane. "What?"

"You wanna rethink that log?"

"It's cold man." Ed leaned his head back, getting more comfortable in his seat.

"Cold don't change the rules, does it?" Rick observed Shane silently. "We keep our fires low so we can't be seen from a distance."

"I said it's cold." He repeated. His wife and daughter both shifted uncomfortably in their spots. No one said anything outright, but they all knew Ed beat his wife, Carol. It wasn't just the bruises that gave it away, it was also the way she jumped at the sound of his voice. No one even wanted to think about what he did to his quiet, skittish daughter. "Why don't you mind your business for once?"

Shane got up and walked over with a confident stride. "You sure you wanna have this conversation man?"

Ed looked up at Shane, briefly wondering if he could bully the officer. Seeing the irritation on Shane's face, he quickly decided he couldn't. "Go on woman, take out the log."

Carol jumped up and did as he ordered. Everyone watched silently, each with pitying eyes. Alice wondered if any of them looked at her that way when Shane would disappear with Lori.

* * *

"Alice." Shane called, jogging up to her before she could reach the RV. She stopped and curiously looked back. "You turning in?" he asked once he caught up.

"Yeah, it's been a long day."

"I'd join you tonight, but I got watch duty."

"It's fine. I know you don't like sleeping on the floor anyway." Shane kept watch every night and after his shift ended, he would fall asleep in the passenger seat of the RV. It started to lightly rain. "I should head in. Don't wanna get sick."

"Um… Yeah." Alice turned to walk away, but he quickly grabbed her upper arm and gently pulled her back into his chest. "I haven't said it in a while, but I love you Alice. You know that, right?"

She hesitated before answering. "I know."

Shane, not seeming to notice the hesitation, turned her to face him and leaned down. "Give me a good night kiss."

Pushing herself up on the balls of her feet, she lightly tapped her lips to his and pulled away before he could make it deeper. He held her close, resting his head on top of hers. She had missed Shane holding her, but it didn't feel as good as it used to. Alice wrapped her arms around him tightly, ignoring her minds whispers that he had probably held Lori the same way and he only wanted to touch Alice because Rick was back. Rick was here and Lori picked him over Shane.

Pushing the thoughts from her head she whispered: "I do love you, Shane."

* * *

The rain was beating down hard against the umbrella that covered Shane. He sat in the lawn chair that had been placed on top of the RV for those keeping watch. He was supposed to be keeping watch, but Shane's eyes were only focused on one spot. He stared at Lori's tent. He had no right to be jealous, but he couldn't stop the feeling. Rick was in there with her. They were probably making love.

Shane's nostrils flared and teeth grinded against each other at the thought. He rubbed his face roughly, trying to erase the images that came to his mind. That was Rick's wife. Shane had to let Lori go. She had never really been his anyway. So, why was it so hard to forget what they had?

For Shane, the better question was how could Lori forget so fast. He knew there was something between them and she knew it too. Maybe she didn't love Shane, but she did care about him. He just knew she did. Lori had even admitted she wasn't really happy with Rick and had considered a divorce. But now the husband she supposedly didn't love was back and Shane was cast aside without a glance or explanation. He knew he had to stop thinking like that. Rick was alive and if Lori was giving their marriage another try. Shane had to respect it. Lori wasn't his anymore. He'd accept it eventually.

* * *

Dale was snoring again. Alice had no clue how the others could sleep through it, but she couldn't. With her thin sheet tangled around her legs, she listened to the rain hit the roof of the RV. She missed having her own bed and not being subjected to Dale's snores. Alice liked him until it was time for bed. At least once a week, she considered smothering herself with her pillow once he started sawing logs.

She let her mind wander, hoping to eventually fall asleep.

Shane had kissed her. For the first time in a while, he asked for a kiss from her and she was feeling conflicted. Within the last year, things had changed so much in their relationship. They used to be inseparable and madly in love. They were strangers now, walking on eggshells when around each other. Neither ever knew what to say anymore, and Alice knew it all started with her.

She had been so emotional back then and everything Shane said made her cry. He had dealt with his grief in a different way and expected Alice to deal with it like him. But she wasn't Shane. She couldn't have one good cry then move on. She couldn't bring herself to paint over the pink walls and put the baby furniture into storage. She couldn't even consider trying again for another one. But Shane didn't understand any of that and kept pushing for her to move on. Alice knew he meant well, but it just made her angry with him. She had resented him for being able to forget so easily when she still struggled to accept what happened.

It made her snap at him over the smallest things and as a result, Shane started working later. When he did come home, he hardly spoke to her for fear of starting another argument and wouldn't touch her because he didn't want her to burst into tears. It was hard to communicate to him that she wanted to try to go back to how it used to be with him avoiding her like the plague. After a while, it seemed easier to separate than to discuss feelings she knew Shane wouldn't understand. She still held hope that one day they'd figure things out though.

A part of her still wanted to give their relationship another try, but she wondered if he felt the same or if it was something else behind his sudden show of affection. Shane had said he loved her, kissed her, and held her so that had to mean something, right? It had been what she wanted, but it didn't leave her feeling elated like she thought it would. His relationship with Lori was still in the back of her mind. She hadn't witnessed them doing anything that crossed the line, but they disappeared both would around the same time often. Had it been anyone but Shane, she would have readily admitted an affair was going on. But it wasn't just anyone, it was the two people she had trusted the most.

Alice couldn't admit they had betrayed her just yet even though it was glaringly obvious and she knew it. She'd take try to repair their marriage. It was what she had been wanting, wasn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: _Followers! I am happy for you guys. Reviewers, you are awesome and I thank you for taking the time to drop one for me. It truly encourages me to keep this up!

Now it's story time! Yaaaay!

* * *

Rick woke with a start. He dreamt he found Lori and Carl. His heart was racing in his chest. He took a deep breath and looked around, quickly realizing he was inside of a tent. Rick covered his face and let out a hard exhale, silently grateful it hadn't been a cruel dream. As he sat in the cot with the sweat damp sheets around his bare hips, he took a moment to appreciate how lucky he had been.

He had been surrounded by geeks while stuck in a tank the day before and he was sure he was going to die. Yet when all seemed hopeless Glenn appeared, helped him escape, and without knowing it, led him to his family. Even when all signs pointed to him never finding them and even the possibility that they may not even be alive, he still got lucky. He knew he should have just been grateful, but he couldn't help but wonder why. Why did he luck out, but someone like Morgan didn't? He had lost his wife to the illness. To add salt to the wound, Morgan had to see her every night mindlessly stumbling down the street and ready to kill him and their son. Rick was more than lucky. Lori was fine. Lori was alive.

His hands slipped off his face and his eyes lingered on the empty spot next to him. He was hopeful about his marriage for the first time in a while. Lori told him that she still loved him and wanted to give their relationship another try. Rick had to try to make them work because he found her and Carl for a reason. As happy as Rick had been, he didn't miss how her mind would wander as they talked quietly, but he assumed she was still processing him being alive.

* * *

Shane silently drove his jeep, returning to the camp with fresh water. He had been brooding the whole time. He had woken up in a foul mood and though he hated to admit it, Rick had a lot to do with it. Shane was genuinely happy Rick was alive. That was his best friend, his partner, his brother, but because Rick was alive, Lori would stay away. He hated the way she had glared at him the night before. They had both made a mistake, but it felt like he was the only one paying for it. Lori could pretend nothing happened, but Shane wasn't sure he could. It that made his stomach churn with guilt and anger. He had fallen for her and loved playing surrogate father to Carl. The illusion of being a family had screwed with his mind more than he originally thought.

Pulling over, Shane began to slam his palms into the steering wheel repeatedly. He let out a string of curses before he stopped and dropped his head against the headrest. He shouldn't have been mad at Rick for being alive and he shouldn't have slept with Lori. The two had created a mess, but everything had been just fine before Rick showed up out of the blue when he was supposed to be dead. Shane felt a sting of regret as he silently wished Rick had stayed dead.

* * *

Daryl Dixon was livid and for the first time in his life, he was actually seeing red. Even though he had spent the night sleeping in a tree, he had started the day off in a relatively good mood. He had been excited that morning. The deer he had been tracking was close and he was looking forward to some venison. Daryl liked hunting, even before the world took a shit-tastic turn for the worse and the dead didn't stay… Dead. It had always been a way to relax, get out some frustration, and took his mind off the pathetic shit he called a life. The best thing about hunting though was it got him away from Merle.

Daryl would never admit it to anyone, but he both loved and hated his older brother. Merle was a far cry from an ideal sibling. He wasn't a supportive, loving, protective older brother. Merle humiliated Daryl regularly. He tried to emasculate him, and sometimes Daryl found himself believing the negative things Merle said about him. He had learned years ago that being sensitive or trying to explain why he didn't like being called Darylina would make things worse than if he just sucked it up. Anything that involved feelings would cause Merle to laugh at him while asking if Daryl's dick had fallen off.

Merle was too much to handle on a good day. Now Daryl was stuck with his coked out brother daily and hunting seemed to be the best way to get some peace.

It seemed like it was going to be a good day until he found out one of them ugly geeks had made its way to their camp, scaring the children (like Daryl gave a fuck about that), and began eating _his_ deer (that, Daryl **did** give a fuck about). If that wasn't bad enough, he soon learned Merle was handcuffed to a roof thanks to some cock sucker he'd never even seen and Deputy Asshole Walsh currently had him in a choke hold.

"That's an illegal move, pig!" Daryl hissed, thrashing against Shane.

"File a complaint." Shane replied, making Daryl try even harder to get free. He wanted to knock Shane out so bad at that moment, he would have given his left nut for the chance. "Come on now, I can do this all day." He grunted out as he wrestled Daryl to the ground.

"I'd like to have a calm discussion about this topic, think we can manage that?" Rick asked, kneeling in front of the men. Daryl was breathing hard, but had stopped struggling. Rick and Shane looked at each other, a silent understanding passed between them. Shane let Daryl go, giving him a shove as he stood up. "What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work or play well with others."

Daryl still sat on the ground, but remained silent. He was still pissed, but he couldn't deny what Rick said. He knew Merle better than any of them, and he knew how much of a handful he was. His mind was racing with conflicting thoughts. He wanted to find Merle and bring him back. That was his brother, his blood. But he also wanted to leave him just like Merle had left him when Daryl needed his older brother the most. Merle was family though, and his love for his brother outweighed any resentment he felt. He needed his brother.

"It's not Rick's fault." T-dog said. He had reemerged from the woods, carrying logs, in the middle of the scuffle. "I had the key. I dropped it."

Daryl's frown deepened, not understanding what the problem had been. "You couldn't pick it up?"

"I… Dropped it down a drain."

Daryl let out a grunt as he forced himself onto his feet. He tried to block out how much attention he was getting. He didn't like how they were watching him just to see what would happen next. They didn't care about Merle or him, they just wanted a show. He refused to give them one, though he wanted nothing more than to shoot an arrow through T-dog and the new asshole to the group. "That supposed to make me feel better? It don't."

"Maybe this will. I chained the door so the geeks couldn't get him." Seeing Daryl face scrunch up in anger, T-dog quickly added that he used a padlock.

"That's gotta count for something." Rick added.

Daryl looked around once more. It suddenly dawned on him that he was truly on his own. Not even the world ending had been enough to make Merle act on his best behavior. He could feel tears building, but he refused to cry. Daryl rubbed his eyes hard. He wouldn't give anyone that satisfaction ever again, especially these people. "To hell with all you!" he yelled, his voice rough from trying to hold back his tears. "Tell me where he is, so I can go get him."

Lori, who had been watching from the RV, observed her husband's face and knew exactly what was about to happen. "He'll show you." She spoke, drawing everyone's attention. "Isn't that right?" she and Rick's eyes connected. He was going to leave again.

Rick looked away, unable to stand the all too familiar look of discontent. "I'm going back." He confirmed.

Lori felt a flash of rage shoot through her body. He had gone through hell to find her and Carl. Rick had claimed he was grateful to have found them, but Lori wasn't so sure he meant it anymore. They had agreed to give their marriage another try, but it seemed it had been all talk. Rick was once again not putting his own family first. He just had to be the good guy, even to people who didn't deserve it. Lori shook her head in disappointment. She almost wanted to laugh at how nearly dying hadn't been enough for Rick to stop putting his life on the line for others. Without a word, Lori turned her back on him and walked into the RV.

Rick took a step forward, about to follow his wife, but he stopped. He knew why she was mad and he knew she had every reason to be, but this wasn't just about rescuing a chained up asshole. He needed to get the bag of guns and walkie talkie he had left in Atlanta. He would have to deal with Lori later.

Daryl walked past everyone and grabbed his crossbow. Fuck all of them, he could care less about them, but he did need the officer to find his brother. He wouldn't allow himself to even consider the possibility that Merle was dead. Dixon's were tough sons of bitches. No roof and handcuffs was going to be enough to kill his brother.

As he stomped to his tent, he saw her. Alice was standing by the camps makeshift clothesline, nervously fidgeting her fingers. He was going to walk past her, but she softly called his name, making him stop.

"What?" he snapped, not bothering to turn around.

"I… I'm sorry about Merle. I'd um well I'd like to come along and help look."

"Why you tellin me?"

"Cause he's your brother and I don't wanna go if you don't want me to-"

"You wanna tag along?" he snapped, turning to face her. "The fuck you gonna do other than get in the way?"

"I can shoot."

"You ever shoot anything running towards you?" he asked, his voice still low and hostile. Alice remained silent, but shifted her feet nervously. "Figured that much."

"I just want to help, Daryl."

Hearing that made him angrier. Daryl could understand contempt and pity, but he wasn't use to someone wanting to help him without getting anything in return. Rick wasn't just going out of the kindness of his heart, Glenn was reluctantly tagging along, and T-dog was going just to ease his guilt of leaving Merle. But what would Alice get out of going? That was something Daryl couldn't figure out, but he refused to believe it was just because she wanted to help.

"You trying to prove something?" he questioned. "Think that asshole of a husband will notice you if you do? I ain't got time for your attention seeking games. I'm going to save my brother. If you wanna find something to do while your husband screws Olive Oyl, find something else cause you'd just slow us down."

"They're just friends." She weakly argued. She didn't even sound as if she believed that.

"That what they tell you? Saw them hugged up and kissing while I was hunting not long ago. That what friends do?"

Daryl watched her eyes fill with tears and lip tremble, but he remained silent. He wasn't the comforting type and he couldn't feel bad for Alice. She had to know what was happening right under her nose and if she didn't want to address it, that was her issue. But he wasn't about to feel bad for someone who, in his opinion, put themselves in that situation.

Alice refused to let herself cry. Her sight was becoming blurry, but she looked up to keep the tears from falling. She knew what Shane and Lori were up to, but having Daryl confirm and actually witness it made it real for Alice. Jacqui was one thing. She'd never seen the pair. Jacqui just assumed that was what all the signs were pointing to. But Daryl had seen it and he had no reason to lie to her. Alice's chest tightened and breathing became slightly harder. Shane, her husband, the man she had been madly in love with, had a relationship with her friend. The same friend she tried to always be there for. It hit her harder than she thought it would. But she couldn't cry. Not now.

"Y-you saw them?"

For a moment, Daryl felt bad when he saw her chest heave with a suppressed sob. But he shoved the feeling aside. Why the fuck should he care? These were the same people who didn't care when his brother was left in Atlanta overnight. The same people who would leave him to get his brother alone if there had been nothing in it for them.

"I don't have time for this shit." He said as he walked past her. He had more important things to do than watch a woman cry over her shitty husband. But why did he feel so bad?

* * *

Shane leaned against the front of the RV watching Rick prepare to leave. He tried not to look as pissed as he felt. A full day hadn't even passed since Rick showed up, and already he was causing problems. Rick had to know how lucky he was to find his family, but he was willing to risk his life again. And for Merle of all people. Shane knew they needed the guns Rick had dropped in Atlanta, but the look on Lori and Carl's faces would have made Shane stay. It was always about doing the right thing with Rick and now he was taking three men with him. Men that needed to be at the camp in case more geeks showed up. Shane didn't like the idea and he didn't like Rick calling shots even more.

He rubbed his tired eyes and let out a hard sigh. He didn't want this. He didn't want Rick to come into camp and mess up the system he had going. He didn't want Rick to leave and risk people Shane needed to protect the camp. To protect Lori and Carl.

"Lori's mad." Rick stated when Alice walked up beside him.

"She is." Lori was the last person Alice wanted to talk about. "But she's just worried."

"I know, but I have to go back. We left a man on a roof like an animal. And I need those guns and walkie talkie." He explained as he watched her wipe her forehead with the back of her hand.

"I get it. I really do and I think you're doing the right thing."

"Shane and Lori don't."

"We need the guns. If the geeks are migrating up here from Atlanta, we'll be in trouble. And Merle may not be my favorite person, but even he doesn't deserve to die that way." Her eyebrows shot up as she remembered why she had sought Rick out in the first place. "Here." She handed him a backpack.

"What is it?" he asked, taking it. Rick couldn't help but notice how sad Alice looked.

"Just some water, cans of tuna, and energy bars for you guys and Merle. Carol packed it."

"Give her my thanks." He slung the back over his shoulder, giving her a nod of appreciation. Rick started to walk off, but stopped mid step and looked back at Alice. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You look a little down. I know we aren't close, but if you want to talk-"

"Thanks for the concern, Rick, but I'm fine." She weakly assured. He gave her a disbelieving look. "Seriously."

"Come the fuck on!" Daryl yelled impatiently from a truck before Rick could say anything else. He stepped on the horn, nearly kicking Glenn's head off. The young Korean looked petrified.

"He's charming, isn't he?" Rick mumbled.

Alice let out an uncomfortable laugh, trying not to think too much about what Daryl's had told her. "Stay safe."

"You too."

"I'm not the one going into an infested city."

"Yeah, but just humor me." He paused for moment, glancing at the RV where Carl sat with the other children playing. "I… Look out for him? I know Shane's here, but extra eyes-"

"Sure thing officer." She cut him off, not needing an explanation.

* * *

"It's like there's a never ending pile of dirty clothes for us to wash." Jacqui complained, carrying a full basket of laundry to the edge of the quarry. "Every day we're down here scrubbing."

"It's better than sitting around peeling potatoes." Alice mumbled, happy for the change in her routine. Her jeans were uncomfortably damp from the wet clothes she had been scrubbing on her lap.

"I'm really starting to question the divide in work." Jacqui nodded her head towards Carl and Shane. They were getting into the quarry and began splashing about in the water. None of them, but Alice, noticed Lori walking over to Shane and Carl with a scowl on her face. She knew Lori was angry about something. And of course, Shane perked up slightly at the sight of Lori.

Alice frowned, but picked up a shirt and began furiously scrubbing at it. It just happened to be Shane's. She felt an overwhelming urge to rip it apart with the rest of his clothes. It hadn't bothered her before that he rarely looked excited to see her until Daryl had confirmed her suspicions.

How dare he claim to still love her, but had no problem sexing Lori up in the woods. How dare he look so content playing around with Carl, especially now that they knew Rick was alive?

When Daryl had accused her of only wanting to go to Atlanta just to escape Lori and Shane, Alice had felt insulted. She knew what the city was like and wanted to help. Then he told her he had seen the pair together doing very little talking and a lot of touching. While it broke her heart to know her fear had come true, it also made her reconsider if Daryl had been wrong about why she wanted to tag along. Alice really did want to help, but she also didn't want to see Shane giving Lori looks of longing like he had been most of the day. She hated seeing them close together and she wasn't sure how she felt about Daryl being the one to make her admit she wanted a reason to leave camp.

Amy threw a soggy pair of pants down and let out a frustrated sigh. "I hate this. My back hurts and it's hot. Meanwhile those two get to splash around in the water. Why can't we do that?"

"Haven't you heard?" Jacqui didn't look up from her load of clothes. "The apocalypse happened, so now the men get to horse around and we get to cook, clean, and watch the kids."

"I miss my Maytag washer." Carol softly spoke, making sure Ed couldn't hear her. "It could do loads of laundry like you wouldn't believe."

"I miss my cell phone." Amy whined, picking back up the pants she threw down. "I miss texting my friends. Now I'm stuck with a bunch of old people and little kids."

"Old people?!" Andrea repeated, nudging her sister playfully.

"Yeah. No offence, but you guys aren't exactly… Of my generation."

"You're asking for it kid. It'd be a shame if you fell into the quarry and us old women didn't see who did it." Jacqui didn't smile, but her eyes glittered with mirth.

Amy held up her hands defensively, the wet pants clenched in her left. "Don't get mad about me telling the truth!"

"You know what? I can't be mad. A kid would miss a cellphone. I miss my coffee maker with the gold drip filter and grinder." Jacqui moaned at the thought of a cup of joe from her prized coffee maker.

"You are old." Amy mumbled only to have Andrea nudge her again. "What about you Alice?"

"A hot shower. I think I'd just about kill for one of those now." She answered without hesitation. All the ladies groaned in agreement.

Andrea began to grin "All those things are great, but you know what I really miss?" she leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I miss my vibrator."

"Ew! I don't need to hear that about you!" Amy scrunched up her nose and leaned away from her sister.

A moment of silenced passed before Carol added "I miss mine too." The women busted out in surprise laughter.

"Hey!" Ed yelled, throwing his cigarette to the side. Wherever Carol was, Ed was never far behind. He always watched her, smoking and criticizing her while he did nothing. "This ain't no comedy club!" Carol flinched at the sound of his voice and stared at the shirt she was washing. Ed walked closer and stood behind the women with his arms crossed and an air of arrogance around him.

Andrea let out a breath of frustration and stood up to face him. She wasn't about to let Ed bully her. "If you don't like the way your clothes are being washed, you can do it yourself."

"Oh, you're a college bitch, so think you can talk any old way you want to people?"

"Bitch?" She repeated. "What is it you do around here anyway, Ed? Sit around, just smoking? If you don't like how we wash clothes, wash your own shit!" she threw a wet shirt at his chest. He quickly caught it before it could hit him and flung it into her face. Andrea's lips parted in shock. Amy jumped up and pulled her sister back before she could lunge at the older man.

"Come on, Carol!" he demanded, ignoring Andrea.

Carol stood up, quickly gathering her things. She made sure to keep her head down. She felt humiliated enough.

"No, you don't have to go, Carol." Andrea stuck her arm out to keep Carol in place.

"She does have to go, cause I said so!"

"Why?!" Jacqui asked. "So you can add another bruise on her?! We've all seen them Ed!"

Ed reached past Andrea and grabbed Carol's upper arm. She winced but began to follow. "I said come on!"

Andrea yelled for him to let Carol go and pulled on her other arm to hold her back. Ed's nostrils flared and without hesitation, he swung his hand back, smacking Carol hard across the face. Carol let out a loud cry and covered her wounded cheek. Blood began to run down her chin from biting her lip too hard when her husband struck her. Andrea and Jacqui began yelling at Ed, catching Shane's attention. He looked away from Lori and Carl's retreating forms, trying not to feel as angry as he did over Lori telling him to stay away from them.

Alice reached out for Carol, ignoring all the yelling and cursing. She began to check Carol's face as she sobbed an apology. Alice wasn't sure who it was directed to, but she had a feeling it was for Ed.

"Fuck all you uppity bitches!" Ed hissed, grabbing Carol again. He unexpectedly jerked his wife's body from Alice's grasp. Alice stumbled forward. Without thinking, she reached out for the nearest thing to keep her from falling. It just happened to be Carol.

Everything happened so fast. Ed saw Alice's hand still on Carol, not realizing she was holding on so she wouldn't fall face first. He sneered at her, furious that the women kept getting in his way. Ed pushed Carol to the side and shoved Alice hard in the center of her chest. She stumbled back, caught off guard. Her arms flailed, grabbing at the air. The wet pebbles rolled underneath her feet, leaving her without footing. Suddenly, Alice fell back into the quarry. Water rushed into her open mouth. For a moment, she was sure she was going to die.

Shane saw red. He had already been pissed about Lori telling him to keep away from her family and accusing him of knowing Rick wasn't really dead. Watching Ed shove his wife pushed him over the edge. He ran over, focused only on Ed. He grabbed the front of Ed's shirt and began to punch him as hard as he could. His rage and frustration began to ease up, but it wouldn't go away completely. He began to hit Ed harder.

Jacqui ran into the water, and pulled Alice up. Alice spat out water and began to gasp short intakes of air. Stringy blonde hair stuck to her face.

"Shane, stop!" she heard Andrea beg.

"If I find out," Shane brought his bloodied fist down on Ed's face again. "you put your hands on your wife or daughter again." Ed turned his head to the side and took a blow his cheek. "I won't stop next time." Shane was breathing heavy, but he stopped hitting Ed. He gave the bleeding man a mocking smack against his bruised cheek. "And if you ever touch my wife again, I'll fucking kill you, you hear me Ed?" when Ed didn't reply, Shane stood up and kicked him in the rib. "I asked if we're clear!"

Ed gave a weak nod as he struggled to breathe through his bloody nose. Carol rushed over to her husband as soon as Shane backed away and sobbed hard. Mucus and tears ran down her face while she apologized to him, begging him to forgive her for what happened.

Shane was still furious, despite the beating he had given Ed. He grabbed Alice's wet wrist and began to pull her none-too-gently back to the camp. The other women knew better than to say anything after what they had witnessed. Alice followed behind Shane quietly. She had seen him angry before, but never to that extent. She was pretty sure he'd never hit her, but she was also pretty sure he'd snap again if she said the wrong thing.

He ignored the questioning stares of everyone lingering around the camp site and pulled his wife into the empty RV. As soon as the door closed, he released her. Alice stood timidly behind him, watching Shane run a hand through his wet hair. He tugged at the roots before turning to face her.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he hissed out.

"I… What?"

"You know what kind of man Ed is. Why would you get yourself caught in the middle like that?"

"Shane, I didn't do anything wrong! He hit her! You saw it!"

"I didn't see him hit her. What I saw was you trying to pull her away from him and getting yourself caught in the middle."

"I didn't try to pull her away. I was checking her face when he-"

"It doesn't matter!" he snapped. "Ain't nobody here dumb to how he treats his family, but we mind our business because that's HIS family."

"She was bleeding, Shane. I just wanted to help her-"

"And look where that got you." He interrupted again. "I just beat a man damn near to death for putting his hands on you!"

"Was it really cause of me?" Alice boldly asked. She wasn't dumb enough to believe Lori being mad at him before the altercation hadn't played a role. She shrunk back into the wall when she saw Shane's nostrils flair and lips press tight together. He took a step forward, but stopped himself from coming closer to her.

"What you going on about?"

The look in his eyes told her she was playing with fire. "N-nothing, Shane."

He ran a hand down his face, cupping his mouth for a moment as he tried to calm himself. "Next time, you mind your own, Alice." Without another word, he left her alone in the RV.

Shivering and still shaken up, Alice slid down the wall and onto the floor. She didn't need a lecture from Shane to mind her own business, she needed him to hold her and tell her she was fine. Alice closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. Her chest ached dully from the amount of force Ed used to push her.

Maybe she should stick to peeling potatoes. Though it nearly bored her to tears, it was much safer than laundry trips to the quarry and scavenging for supplies in the city.

The RV door opened again, making Alice open her eyes. Jacqui walked in and sat beside her. She offered Alice a comforting smile while placing a hand on her wet shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze. It made Alice feel a lot better than she had expected.

"You alright?" Jacqui asked.

"Yeah."

"Shane seemed pretty mad."

"He was."

"At you?"

"I don't know, honestly."

"It's not my place to say…"

"But you will anyway."

Jacqui smiled, nodding her head. "Yeah, I will anyway. He had every reason to be mad at Ed for pushing you, but to fly off the handle like that? I think it's more than that. On my way to check on you, I saw him staring at Lori. I know you don't like to talk about it, but obviously something went down between those two. Since her husband popped up, she's been glaring at Shane."

"There's a point to this, right?"

"You know what my point is. I think he was already feeling pissy over Lori and-"

"I need to change before I catch a cold or something." Alice pushed herself up and began to dig into her bag for dry clothes.

Jacqui frowned, but stood up as well. "At some point, you're gonna have to deal with this. Things like this never get better, they get worse."

"Things like what, Jacqui? Rick's here and it's over now."

"So you admit something went on between them? What made you finally stop sipping your delusion tea?"

Alice shrugged, not looking up from her bag. "When Daryl Dixon confirms your fears, it must be true."

"Daryl? What's he got to do with anything?"

"I wanted to go into the city with them to help. I asked Daryl if it'd be alright with him since Merle is his brother and all. Well, he told me no, said me wanting to go was just so I wouldn't have to be here while Shane screwed Lori.

"He said he'd seen them together once and as much time as he spends in the woods, I had to believe him. Daryl had no reason to lie to me and I knew it all along too. Just had to admit it to myself, I guess." She set her dry clothes to the side and faced Jacqui. "I thought I'd feel humiliated or even sad about admitting what was really going on. But I don't."

"How do you feel?"

"Frustrated. Angry." Alice ran her hand down her face. "You know, when Rick was shot, I sat with him for those two weeks. For hours, I sat beside his bed, looking silly talking to a man in a coma. And I did it because my friend, Lori, asked. All those times she'd come to my home and complain about her marriage. All those times she would tell me she wasn't sure she still loved Rick and I listened, Jacqui.

"Even if I didn't agree, I listened and supported her because that's what friends do. And for all the years I tried to be a good friend to her, she repays me by sleeping with Shane. I think I could handle it a lot better if it was some random woman, but it wasn't. It was a woman I've let into my home, into my life. I just feel so angry, Jacqui."

"What are you going to do about it?" Jacqui asked carefully.

"What is there to do? It's not like I can leave anytime I'm tired of looking at those two. I can't even say anything about it."

"And just why not?"

"Because for some strange reason, I think the walkers are just a little more important than my personal drama. Besides, it won't do me no good."

"It would help you feel better."

"It won't. You don't know those two like I do. Shane would find a way to make it my fault and Lori would have an excuse."

"And Rick?"

Alice's brows creased. "What about him?"

"Don't you think he deserves to know? From the moment he woke up, he began searching for his family. You saw how bad it was in Atlanta. He had to make his way through all that and by some dumb luck, he found his family. That's what he spent his time doing from the moment he woke up. Not even a month went by since he 'died' before Lori and Shane started… Their thing."

Alice picked up her dry clothes and made her way to the small bathroom. "He's been through enough. He's just happy he found his family. Let him enjoy the moment. Lord knows when the next good thing will happen to any of us. And it's done between Shane and Lori."

"Wouldn't you want to know if you were Rick?"

"No. I know about it and it hasn't helped a damn thing." She answered through clenched teeth. "I gotta look at two people I care about and know they went behind my back. And knowing they were sleeping together is supposed to do what for me, Jacqui? Other than fill me with anger, what has it done?" Jacqui opened and quickly closed her mouth. She couldn't answer Alice's question. "I wouldn't want to know if I were Rick. He doesn't need to know. We left him in the hospital thinking he was dead. The whole thing started between Lori and Shane because I messed up and we thought he was dead."

Jacqui's eyebrows shot up. "Why does it sound like you're placing blame on yourself?"

"Cause I screwed up. I was so scared. I couldn't find Rick's pulse. Maybe if I had…" Alice shook her head and stepped into the bathroom. "He doesn't need to know. He's happy for now and he deserves it, Jacqui. Lori and Shane are done. Shane will eventually get over Lori and there will be no lasting consequences. It's over now and Rick doesn't need to know."

Alice closed the door and leaned her forehead against it. She heard Jacqui let out a sigh and walk out of the RV. Alice flopped down on the toilet lid and covered her face with her dry clothes. She let out a muffled sob, letting herself finally cry. Her body shook with more emotions than she thought was possible to feel at once. She was angry, she was jealous, but most of all, she felt hurt. She still loved Shane and always would.

To see him look at Lori in a way he hadn't looked at her in over a year broke her heart in more ways than she could explain. The pain wasn't physical, yet the ache in her chest begged to differ. As she cried harder into her clothes, she decided Rick knowing wouldn't benefit anything. And she couldn't wish the pain she felt on him because he didn't deserve that.

* * *

Jim had a mental breakdown earlier in the day. He had been digging graves for some unknown reason and became violent when asked to stop. He needed to be restrained to a tree until Shane deemed him calm enough to be around the others. Jim sat with the group, enjoying a plate of fish and beans, but he made sure not to sit too close to anyone. He knew he had disturbed the others. Though he blamed the heat for his behavior, he knew better. He had a dream the night before, but he couldn't remember it. All he knew for sure was that it left him with a feeling he couldn't shake.

The day had been nothing but tense and stressful, but once everyone smelled the fish Andrea and Amy caught being fried, moods lightened. Amy nibbled on her fish, trying to pretend she didn't notice Dale and her sister exchanging looks. She had an idea why. It was her birthday. Amy knew Andrea had something planned and she was more excited to find out what it was than she could let on.

It meant the world to Andrea to make her little sisters birthday special. She had missed so many birthdays due to the age gap between the siblings. It had been so easy to brush it off and just wish her sister a happy birthday through a phone call. Andrea promised every year she would make it back home for Amy's next birthday party, and every year she'd miss it. After spending so much time with her younger sister, Andrea realized just how much it hurt Amy. Her little sister thought Andrea didn't care about her, and for years her actions didn't prove otherwise. But now she had a chance to make up for it all. She had the chance to celebrate a birthday with Amy.

When Andrea had spotted the mermaid necklace in the department store, she had instantly thought of Amy. If there was one thing she knew about her kid sister, it was her love of mermaids. It wasn't much, but it was something to offer Amy and let her know she remembered.

Much to everyone's surprise, Carol came over, bringing Sophia with her. She sat down next to Alice, holding her daughter close. Everyone noticed Ed was absent, but no one really wanted him around to spoil the mood.

"I wonder if Rick's alright." Lori mused aloud, looking down at her bowl. She had almost felt guilty having so much fun while her husband was risking his life for a second time. Then again, he had made the decision to go because that was just what Rick did. He left, putting everyone and everything else before his own family.

"It's alright mom. Dad's ok. I know he is." Lori looked down at her son. Rick was so selfish, how could he not think of his son before leaving. It was one thing to turn away from her, but it was a different story to leave his son.

She kissed the top of her sons head. "You're right." Her eyes briefly met with Shane, who stood a good distance away from the group. She could feel him staring at her, but she refused to give him an opening to come over and talk to her. Lori had been looking for a reason to end things with Shane. Dumb luck seemed to be the theme of the day because she had gotten her reason in the form of Rick.

"Where are you going young lady?" Andrea asked her sister as she stood up from the group.

Amy rolled her eyes. "I was trying to go take a piss, but I can't even do that discreetly." Everyone laughed as she playfully smiled at her older sister before walking to the RV. A few moments later, Amy's voice was heard again. "We're out of toilet paper! What am I supposed to do-" Amy suddenly stopped speaking and let out a scream as she felt an intense pain on the side of her neck.

"Amy?!" Andrea shot up. Her bowl dropped from her lap and onto the ground as she ran towards the RV.

"We got a problem!" Dale yelled as he spotted walkers coming from the woods. Alice shot up, knocking her chair from under her. "This isn't good."

The walkers were coming closer and Alice had no idea what to do. She had no weapon. None of them did.

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. She could hear Andrea's cries of anguish and pain; she could hear Lori yelling for Carl to stay close to her. She could see Shane running over to the group. She was jolted back to reality when saw just how close the walkers were to them now, hissing and growling. Their mouths were snapping open and close. Sunken, dead eyes searched for anything living to grab onto.

Alice spotted a cast iron skillet. She grabbed it, grateful that it was cool to the touch. Her hands were shaking. She had never killed a walker before, but she knew she had to destroy the brain. There were so many and Alice could see more stumbling out from the woods. A chunky male walker in soiled clothes staggered just a few feet from her, and she froze. She knew she didn't have time to think of the morality of her actions, not if she wanted to live.

The walker lunged at her, its hissing mouth covered in dried blood. Alice closed her eyes and swung her skillet blindly with shaking hands. She let out a scream when she felt it hit something solid. Alice forced her eyes open and nearly wet herself when she realized she had hadn't killed it. She wasn't sure if they felt emotions, but the walker seemed pretty pissed. It lunged at her again, this time overpowering and knocking her down. Her skillet flew from her hand and dropped a few feet behind her with a loud 'thump'.

The screaming and commotion around her stopped. All Alice could hear was her own blood rushing through her veins and accelerated heart beat against her ribcage. Her forearm pressed firmly against the walker's neck, barely keeping its chomping mouth from her face. She kept her mouth closed, just in case the walker got blood on her. Its milky white eyes stared down at her and she could smell the decay radiating off of it. It began to tug at her hair and shirt. Its body was too heavy for her to push off and her arms were starting to get tired.

For a moment, Alice entertained the thought of dying. Her family and most of her friends were dead. Her marriage was a mess. What would she be fighting to live for? Even if there was a solution that would stop the walkers and prevent new ones, her dead loved ones wouldn't magically return to her. Her life would never go back to how it was before. Nothing would be the same.

But even if nothing ever went back to how it used to be, Alice had survived so far for a reason. She had no idea what the reason was, but it felt like disrespect to the memories of her loved ones to just give up. They didn't have that choice, but she did. Dying when there was still a fighting chances could never be an option for her. She'd find a reason to live, she had to.

A sudden surge of strength went through Alice's body as she brought her knee up to the walker's stomach and used it to help shove it off her. She rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself up. Alice quickly reached for the skillet. She was in survival mode. She wasn't going to die, not like this. For the first time in a while, she truly felt alive.

She brought the skillet down against the walkers head, crushing its skull. She heard the sickening crack as she smashed it repeatedly until it no longer moved. She heard a gunshot behind her. The exposed skin of the back of her shoulders felt wet. Alice wondered if she had been shot. She swung around and found Daryl had a rifle aimed at her. She looked down and saw a walker that was close to making a meal out of her on the ground, motionless.

He saved her. Daryl Dixon had saved Alice.

* * *

**Ellarose181**: In the grand scheme of this story Alice still grows and gains a backbone, just not in the way I originally wanted. For some reason, I seemed to have forgotten Alice wasn't an awkward teen, but I had her behaving like one. Her background story is also a bit different so her being that shy wouldn't fit anymore. I also had to change Shane cheating with other women. I didn't want to make Shane and Lori total bad guys the way I had before. Rick and Alice being friends prior is also something I also had to change because I think watching them form a friendship and bond is more meaningful and creates more blurred lines as they try to figure out what they're feeling and doing. But I have to thank you for giving the rewrite a shot despite the changes.

**Guest**: Thanks! But why must you be a guest! I can't love you properly without a name!

**XxBEKKAHxX**: Aw shucks you make me blush! But thank you for reading! I'm definitely here to stay this time around and I hope you continue to enjoy my story!

**BellaLuz64** : I'm not sure if I ever thanked you for reviewing World Without Words way back when, but you can never say thank you enough. Thank you for giving this rewrite a shot and I'm glad you are enjoying it so far. I struggled with starting from the beginning, but organization was clearly an issue for me then and I really didn't like how unclear I was about certain details. With this version, I'm trying really hard to not make Shane a total jerk because I kind of like him. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


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